A Fragmented Kinship
“We were born for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of upper and lower teeth. So to work in opposition to one another is against nature: and anger or rejection is opposition.” — Marcus Aurelius
Division.
To those of us that have been paying any kind of attention (no matter how minor) to the political, societal, and social discourse of the United States over the last few years, division has infiltrated and corroded the fabric of our nation. For many, idealogical disagreements in political, religious, or moral beliefs is immediate grounds for the complete shunting of conversation and the breeding of spiteful, angered rhetoric that not only highlights the differences between people, but exacerbates them — leading to a cancer that feeds on our worst of demons: hate.
I, like many, have fallen prey to this unfortunate instinct many times. As a citizen, I too have rolled my eyes at both the vaulted pick-up trucks adorned in American flags and the bumper sticker-laden Prius’s eager to espouse their political agendas to all with functioning eyesight. I have learned to scowl in disgust at the modern 24-hour news cycle of fear and opportunistic political jousting emanating from both sides of the political aisle(though my resentment to this practice may be justified).
I feel the growing daily paranoia of life in the 21st century as mass shootings, inflation, governmental distrust, and fears of another world war escalate. I too have found the constant talks over gender, identity, race and sexual orientation, though very important topics with real-world impact worthy of social and legislative discussion and protection, admittedly exhausting.
All the while, through this chaos, I feel the hemorrhaging of one of our most invaluable resources: kinship. It appears that we as people have set our sights directly on the statistics and topics that divide us, on the opinions that segregate us. It was not until I picked up a copy of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations that I was reminded of this simple fact: we are all individually bound together by our very existence as human beings. As Marcus puts it, when meeting someone who is of a malicious, aggressive, or opposing mind:
“I have reflected that the nature of the offender himself is akin to my own — not a kinship of blood or seed, but a sharing in the same mind, the same fragment of divinity.”
This sentiment has instilled in me a mission to reframe my thinking, and to not focus on the opinions and beliefs of another that may sow disagreement between us, but rather to remember that we are all borne of the same source code, the same raw elements, the same foundation. Whether you believe we are a product of divine providence or a lucky configuration of atoms, it makes no difference.
This is not meant to discount the realities of growing up in varying environments with varying levels of nurturing and care. These factors play a large role in the development of an individual, and these factors can often matriculate through generations. What doesn’t change is the core of us as beings that grapple with what seem to be dichotomous forces: emotion and logic. We all form attachments to people, places, and objects that we find value in. We are all prone to moments of jealousy, greed, lust, and anger, much like we all experience our own forms of joy, gratitude, and peace. Logic can temper our emotion, allow us to see through the fog that is sometimes heralded by rushes of feelings.
I firmly believe that acknowledging this fact in those moments where it is easy to judge, discard, or ignore will make me a happier, more conductive and fulfilled human being, capable of disagreement without malice.
Hearing this, one may retort: “So we should all be happy-go-lucky tree-huggers that hold hands and watch the sunsets together in complete harmony while smoking weed and listening to Bon Iver?”
Of course not. In fact, that world sounds frighteningly boring to me. Difference in opinion, political objectives, sexual orientation, culture, and race is good; it makes us a more diverse and expansive society, and helps us to more clearly illustrate the broad landscape of humanity on this canvas of a planet. The sole aim of my attempt to re-orient my mindset is to rid myself of viewing any human being in a reductive and distorted manner, and to remember that our beginnings and endings are the same.
This is the bare minimum respect any one person deserves.
Total and consistent agreement among all the citizens of the world is a highly unrealistic and misguided goal. Any time an ideology has gripped the whole of a people or a nation, it is often to the detriment of those that have a differing viewpoint. I am trying to learn how to be inclusive and receptive while holding firm on my own opinions and beliefs. This is the burden bared by beings of our intellectual calibre, and we can either rise to that challenge, weaponizing a balanced dose of both emotion and logic to steer us toward a loftier goal, or we can default to our baser instincts — keep our worlds small and divided.
I am an imperfect being. I will falter like everyone else. It helps me to know, however, that I am capable of more. I am tired of being disillusioned by the negative feelings that pervade our modern society at almost every turn. Both personally and politically, I am asking more from myself than ever before, and though it will be a challenge, I wholeheartedly believe its one worth undertaking.
Hopefully someone else does too.
